


Just See Me Again

by whouffaldigoldbelle



Series: Wishing and Hoping [2]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, mild romance, whouffaldi, whouffle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 10:50:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2426036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whouffaldigoldbelle/pseuds/whouffaldigoldbelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara no longer looks for the TARDIS. The life she had with the Doctor has gone - he no longer visits her after she told him to go. Yet she is still angry... </p><p>Set after 'Kill The Moon'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just See Me Again

**Author's Note:**

> Short Whouffaldi story, set in between episodes.

Clara washes up a coffee mug as she watches the rain attack the windows. A typical day. She has walked home from a late meeting at school in silence with Danny, as he talked and complained about his day. Clara hadn't really been listening. Her day has been long, tedious and painful. Again. 

It all boils down to one thing, she concludes. 

It has been many weeks now and she has not seen or heard from the Doctor. Clara has stopped peering out from behind a curtain and expecting to see the TARDIS waiting. She has accepted the fact that, despite everything they faced together, she is just now another random name added to the list of the Time Lord's 'companions/carers/supposed friends'. 

But still... He had abandoned her. Her head spin with so many mixed signals from him that she now struggles to believe what Madame Vastra had told her about being the one who knew the Doctor better than anyone else. 

She even stupidly speculated that he had felt something for her. God knows where that theory cropped up from. At least she has Danny now. And any feelings for the Doctor that she had... 

The phone is now ringing, and she has been miles away. Distracted, she hears the dialling tone and turns her attention away from the lukewarm washing-up water. 

It will be Danny about his scarf, which is still on a hanger by the entrance. 

Again, the phone rings. Rolling her eyes, she picks up.

"Give me a chance!"

"Clara?" 

It isn't Danny. Clara's heart skips a beat as the soft Scottish accent of her Doctor pronounces her name so beautifully, clearly... She claps her hands over her mouth.

But he left her. He is not HER Doctor. Not any more. 

Clara's response therefore is brief. 

"I'm probably just imagining this is happening, so fire away." 

"Trust me, you're not." 

Trust him? Clara feels sick at such a poor choice of words.  
She clears her throat.  
"Where are you then?" 

"Outside your front door," the Doctor replies. "Are you going to let me in?" 

Of all the blasted nerve. Clara's fists clench tightly. She immediately hangs up the phone, slamming it down on the table. For a while, she stays put, inhaling and exhaling. But she knows him too well, and he won't move...

Clara feels hot teardrops roll down her cheeks and onto her lips. Taking a deep breath she reaches for the handle, and opens the door. The Doctor is indeed standing in the doorway, as large as life. He is looking directly into her eyes which are brimming with tears. 

"My Clara..." he whispers, taking a small step towards her. But she knocks him off balance sending him stumbling back outside into the rain, slamming the door shut. 

"Don't even... We're having this conversation here. I'm not letting you into my home." Clara is trembling but her voice remains firm. He could have easily brought the TARDIS into her home if he had wanted to. 

"Clara, you're shivering..."

"Shut up, and don't change the bloody subject." She doesn't even notice the decreased climate.

The Doctor is silent for a bit, watching Clara's livid expression.  
"I'm so sorry," he tries.

"What for?" she snaps. "Do you actually even know why you're apologising?" 

Truth is, he doesn't. 

"I'm apologising for everything," the Doctor says finally. His voice battles with the wind. "Clara, I've needed you every step of the way, and you've been there." 

"But you weren't there for me. I - I trusted you. I thought I was going to die, Doctor. I thought Courtney was going to die. I thought you were gone for good, and that was so terrifying."  
Clara feels her voice breaking, grabbing for the door as she eventually gives in, storming inside to continue her rage. The Doctor watches helplessly as she stands before him. 

"You know what else I was thinking about?! As I sent that message to Earth?" 

Anything he says will be pointless now. 

"I wondered how you would remember me if I had actually died. How will the Doctor remember Clara Oswald? Carer? Friend? Or the girl who saved his life countless times because - because she had faith in him and believed that he would do the same..." 

The Doctor's mind numbs. He had always had a plan, but what if he actually had lost her due to a lapse in concentration? What then?

"From now on I will always be with you, Clara. As long as you want me to be."

"Oh, you just stop it," she scoffs. "So. Where have you been then?" Her hands move to her hips. Small as she is, she looks threatening. 

"Well, ah, I spent some time in solitude. Then I had something vital to attend to with Vastra and Jenny," he begins. He won't tell her that he sought their advice. After all they are unconditionally in love, everything he craves with Clara. 

Vastra and Jenny. 

"All that time?" Vastra and Jenny are now apparently considered as more important in his life than her. 

"You did tell me to stay away..." he starts to say.

"For a while. But not for good!" Clara chokes, starting to well up again. "When you tell someone you are going to stay with them, you actually damn well stay. That's what the rest of the human race would do... but of course you would have to be a bloody rebel. You're stupid, you are!" 

The Doctor flinches as she raises her hand. 

But nothing happens. No strike, no slap. He would have preferred it if she had slapped him. Instead, she lowers her hand, opening the door. 

"Get out, Doctor." Her voice is barely above a whisper. "Go find other people who actually do need you." 

The Doctor stays put. Now it is his turn to talk. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Clara," he begins, and he is speaking clearer. "I need you."  
The Doctor braces himself.  
"You've saved my life..." 

"I know," she sighs, "and you've saved mine, but..." 

"But probably not in the same way though," he says finally. 

And she understands. He nods slowly as he watches the realisation dawn in her face. 

Clara looks up at him, and he brings his palm very gently up to her cheek, running his thumb gently against her soft skin. She is no longer crying, but staring straight into his eyes.

The Doctor's gaze moves, focusing on her lips. But he can't bring himself to lean in, despite how desperately he wants to. Once he crosses that line there is only a fractured, complicated future for the two of them, if any. The thought of no glimmer of hope for a future together is unbearable. 

The Doctor's words are repeating in Clara's head. Her heart is pounding, and her mind is filled with so many thoughts whizzing through her brain.  
She studies him closely, and her fury melts away as she draws nearer to the Doctor. She sweeps her fingers through his silver hair, while his beautifully piercing eyes are fixed on her, like she is the only thing that matters. Clara has always spent too much time tutting about the tiny details - such as the prominent eyebrows - to notice that his eyes are still boyish and full of life, despite the odd wrinkle on the forehead. She stands on her tiptoes and wraps her hands around his neck. His breath is comforting as she finds herself drawing him into her, bodies pressing into each other Her whole body tingles with this new found excitement. 

Their foreheads meet, and Clara leans in and places a single kiss on the Doctor's warm lips. It is brief, but a real, tender kiss all the same. She notices his body tense up as they touch, and pulls away, embarrassed.

"I - I thought you might prefer it to a hug," she says swallowing. 

"I - didn't expect it, that's all. But I am actually missing the hugs," he says smiling. "My sides feel too loose. Too lonely."

He opens his arms to her now and she notices for the first time that he is now willing to embrace her. It means so much more to him than a single brief kiss. The Doctor cradles her precious body against his shoulder, hearts beating fast. 

"Doctor - "

"Mm?" 

What now? Why can't they just stay there and not talk? He wants Clara in his arms forever. 

"If you feel like you just said - " she says slowly, not moving away, "then why have you said nothing until now?" She breaks out of their embrace. "You said that you weren't my boyfriend." 

"I wasn't thinking straight," he confesses, taking his time. "Regeneration changes a lot of things, Clara. Looks, unfortunately, and that's bad enough. But new personality takes adjustment. I tried not to feel anything. By the time I came to my senses, it was too late. I don't flirt. I'm not good at talking. And now you have... someone good."

This is the first time The Doctor has not mocked Danny. He can't even say his name. He is too broken to insult or scoff. Danny Pink has the one thing in the universe that the Doctor truly wants for himself.  
Clara's heart. 

The phone rings. As if by horrible coincidence, it is Danny. Clara can't string a sentence together right now, so she leaves it to ring. 

"You getting that?" The Doctor asks. 

"Voicemail can handle it," she shrugs. "I - really need to think for a while. By myself."

The Doctor reaches for her hand, but she doesn't reciprocate his gesture.  
Instead she walks to the door and opens it. The rain is still hammering down. His cue to leave. 

"Clara... please just consider another chance."  
His voice is so quiet that it comes as a croak.  
It reminds her exactly of when he spoke to her all that time ago after the regeneration. 

"Please... Just see me," he had said. 

"Fine, I guess you can stay for a while." she sighs, smiling a bit. Clara is secretly glad of his company. "Just don't make a habit of turning up this late."

"Can't promise anything, but I'll try. How 'bout I make us some coffee or tea?" he suggests. 

"Coffee sounds nice..." she murmurs. "Thank you. Been a long day."

Clara sinks into an armchair, listening to the rain and the gentle noises of the kettle. Today has been a blur, a surreal whirlwind of emotions. Her eyelids droop. 

"You know, we never did do that trip to Brighton." The kettle whistles as the Doctor helps himself to mugs. "Could make that the next port of call." He glances behind him. Her eyes are now shut, exhausted. The Doctor chuckles. "Oh, Clara."

Clara sighs peacefully, indicating that she is fast asleep. The Doctor turns the main light out, and switches the smaller lamp on near him. He reaches for the cosiest blanket he can find and covers her gently. She immediately snuggles into its warmth, a smile spreading across her face. 

The Doctor's eyes are fixated on Clara as he sips the coffee from her lipstick-stained mug, and his stomach knots up. He never found out if she would return to travel with him. 

Rising to his feet, the Doctor gently bends down to kiss her forehead. He takes his time, admiring everything about her, loving her. She stirs in her sleep, tilting her head to face his. 

"See you soon then, Clara," he says quietly, closing the door behind him. "I hope."

He can wish and hope all he wants to. 

The rest can be decided in time. 

THE END


End file.
